Still a virgin and proud of it
By Bob Otto

And, "Bob if you'll play, you can bat lead off. You can even pitch, if you want." 

But proudly I can say that regardless of what my colleagues at The Valley Chronicle newspaper threw at me, I'm still a (slow pitch) virgin. 

Still a proud virgin who refused to get in bed with slow pitch softball. 

Five weeks ago our Managing Editor, Craig Shultz, challenged Bob Madden of KATY 101.3 FM radio station in Temecula to a softball game. Slow pitch of course. All employees and their family members (preferably talented baseball and softball playing sons and daughters) were encouraged, and in my case, badgered to play in the "big game".

Although I wavered in the storm of their verbal assault, after 30 years of playing fastpitch softball, I just couldn't do it. My conscience wouldn't let me. The guilt would have been unbearable and I'm sure I would have taken it with me to my grave. 

(And unlike Jim Teninty of the Southern California Masters fastpitch team, who has long since been seduced into playing the lob ball game, I do have my pride.)

And no doubt, on this softball "challenged" team I could have been a star. A few at bats against the dying duck falling from the sky and shagging a few fly balls and I would've been ready. 

However, I did make one concession. I agreed to photograph the fiasco for our archives. 

As journalists, my colleagues are gifted. Their fingers fly across a keyboard and their brains work at warp speed crafting stories. But outside of April, Lynn and Lisa, this group has no business at the old ball yard. Spectators yes. Ball players no.

Finally yesterday at 11:30 a.m. the big game between The Valley Chronicle and KATY was mercifully over. 

Despite all our bravado, over confidence and trash talk, Bob Madden and his equally softball-challenged KATY crew gave us a 10-5 spanking. 

How bad was it? Weak hitting, countless infield errors and misplayed fly balls sealed our fate. But the ultimate disgrace came with us trailing 8-3 heading into the seventh inning with KATY at bat. 

With the bases loaded KATY's best hitter came to bat. He had already homered and doubled, so our pitcher fearing "grand slam" decided to intentionally walk him. It proved to be a bone headed and costly decision. 

In slow pitch softball, making this move comes with a steep price. Besides one runner scoring, the umpire waved in a second, explaining this is the price for intentionally walking a batter with bases loaded. 

Not only did we lose, but now our heads hung in embarrassment. 

I'm sure come Monday morning when Bob Madden takes to the airwaves, besides gloating over the victory, he will have something to say about our softball smarts.

And yes, unfortunately there was talk after the game of a rematch. And I'm quite sure that after a few beers at the post game pool party, there was talk of more practice, talk of getting in shape, talk of league play, talk of recruiting Bob…Oh merciful fastpitch God, I beg you, please banish this thought from their lob ball minds. 

I had photo assignments throughout the day, so lucky for me I escaped the rehash and talk of a bigger and badder team. 

Be on alert ISC and NAFA. Should you get a call from Shultz requesting a berth in your national tournaments, please for the sanctity of our fastpitch game, don't let him in.

And the game photographs? I don't think they'll want to see them.